“AITA For Refusing To Pay For My MIL’s Deductible After She Smashed The Gift I Gave Her?”

Certain people in our lives are just trickier to buyfor than others. Some folks in relationships find this to be particularly true with their. They might not know them well enough or get along with them, so an occasion requiring a gift for them becomes a bit of a headache.

But not for. He thought that he picked out the perfect funny present for the woman who raised his spouse. However, it completely backfired, sending his mother-in-law to the hospital.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Kelsey Hartung, chief gift designer and founder of, and Pippa O’Brien, gift expert and founder of, who kindly agreed to chat with us more about choosing gifts for the mother-in-law.

Picking out presents for certain people in our lives sometimes can require more effort

Image credits:

However, this guy picked out a gift he got for MIL quite easily, which completely backfired on him

Image credits:

44% of men and women experience issues with their mother-in-law

If we were to once again perpetuate the stereotype, most people have a rocky relationship with their mother-in-law. But is it a stereotype if science proves it to be true? Well, either way, a study published in The Evolutionary Psychological Science journal found that 44% of men and women experience issues with their mother-in-law, more than with their own mothers. Of course, not every mother-in-law is prone to clashing with their children’s spouses, but they’re still not the easiest to shop for.

To avoid situations like in this story from unfolding, we reached out to Kelsey Hartung, chief gift designer and founder of, and Pippa O’Brien, gift expert and founder of, who kindly agreed to share some ideas forfor mother-in-law and told us what’s better to steer clear of.

Before buying a present for the mother-in-law, Hartung suggests that the person considers their relationship with her as well as her personality, interests, and lifestyle. “Think about what she enjoys. Does she love gardening, traveling, or reading? A good gift also depends on the relationship. If you’re close, something more personal can be meaningful. If you’re still getting to know each other, a classic, elegant gift is a safe choice,” she advised.

“And sometimes, a physical gift isn’t even necessary. A heartfelt handwritten card can be just as meaningful, or if the relationship doesn’t call for a gift, that’s okay too. But if you do give something, presentation matters. A beautifully wrapped gift can turn even the simplest present into something special,” Hartung said.

“Most in-laws do not expect a separate gift from their kid’s spouse,” additionally notes O’Brien. “So you can just choose a gift as a team and sign the card together—or even from the whole family if your in-laws are also grandparents.”

“If you know she doesn’t enjoy getting funny gifts, then stick to thoughtful ones instead”

It’s especially important to remember to reevaluate the relationship with the mother-in-law if the person is thinking about giving her a jokey present. “If she loves to have fun and joke around, then including a “gag gift” is ok. But you 100% need to give her something nice and non-joke-related in addition to the gag so she doesn’t feel like she’s being mocked or is unappreciated,” said O’Brien.

“If you know she doesn’t enjoy gettinggifts, is easily upset or just doesn’t have a great relationship with you, then definitely steer clear of gag gifts and stick to thoughtful ones instead.”

“It depends on the relationship and her sense of humor. If she loves a good laugh and you know she’ll appreciate it, a playful gift can be great,” agreed Hartung. “But it should never be something that could be misinterpreted or feel like it’s at her expense. If there’s any doubt, it’s always better to go with something thoughtful.”

If the gifter feels hesitant about giving a funny present to their mother-in-law, there are plenty of other options. Here’s a little list that gift experts curated that makes for great ideas for presents for mother-in-law:

Gift experts also named some items to keep clear of to avoid any awkward situations. “Some gifts, though well-intended, can feel impersonal or even a little off the mark,” said Hartung.

“Avoid anything too practical—like household cleaning supplies, vacuums, or workout gear—unless she’s specifically asked for them. Even things like workout classes, diet-related products, or anti-aging products and treatments can send the wrong message. And while a generic “Best Mother-in-Law” mug might be easy, it doesn’t exactly make her feel seen or valued. If you’re unsure what to give, something simple but thoughtful can go a long way. A beautiful plant, fresh flowers, or a handwritten card can still show appreciation without the pressure of finding the “perfect” gift.”

Some readers thought the man was right for not wanting to pay for MIL’s deductible

Others believed he shouldn’t have given such a present in the first place

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Austeja Zokaite

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Austeja Zokaite

Writer,BoredPanda staff

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

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I had a look at the original post and apparently the mug said “The You Fell For It Again Award”. Her reaction was incredibly childish but he really should have known better than to pull a stunt like that.

He was incredibly childish giving it to her in the first place. A grown man gleefully gloating over the fact that his gift will annoy an elderly woman. Enjoy the fallout, buster.

Yeah, frankly they were both acting like children and the wife really should have stopped him.

I’m guessing you’re not friends with any “Elderly women”. Because it tends to irritated behavior on our part, and that tends to be dangerous for those attempting to ignore our rattlesnake rattle.

While the mug speaks the truth, yeah, it’s not a present to the one receiving it.

Sounds like it doesn’t mention a single thing about politics. Funny people see “fell for it again” and immediately jump to “they’re mocking me for voting for that guy!”. So they KNOW, at least subconsciously, that they are falling for his grift, but it is immediately annoying to them if that fact is brought to light.

Much like the time I commented that some opinions don’t deserve to be given any attention. I offered no specifics whatsoever, yet along came not one but two MAGA morons screaming at me about how every opinion deserves attention free speech blah blah blah. Then they started calling me a N**i, because of course they did. Once their playbook of using the same lame insults and non-arguments didn’t get any response (because it didn’t warrant any) they just gave up and shut up. Oh no how dare I refuse to give their horrible beliefs any respect or even attention. The nerve.

They didn’t “fall” for anything. They knowingly voted for a Nàzi, because they want Názis in power.

OP sounds like he was kind of stupid about gifting something to a woman for her birthday just to get a rise out of her. MIL’s reaction was insanely immature and over-the-top so no, I don’t think OP should’ve had to pay her medical deductible.

NTA It was a gag gift. Your wife is an enabler. Any person with manners who receives a gift they don’t like would just say thank you. MIL and your wife were out of line to even ask you to pay the deductible for something SHE caused.🤨

Yup. If a political gag gift can get you that riled up, you have a whole lot of hate in your heart, and not a lot of maturity. If you don’t like it, smile, say thank you, then bin it when you get to the house.

Idk if someone gave me a MAGA mug I’d probably smash it for funsies. But not in a restaurant, that’s really childish.

And it’s mature to try to deliberately start a political fight at someone’s birthday?

Did you fall for it again too??

Just be glad he didn’t buy her a King Cobra. Those things smash violently.

He was incredibly childish giving it to her in the first place. A grown man gleefully gloating over the fact that his gift will annoy an elderly woman. Enjoy the fallout, buster.

Yeah, frankly they were both acting like children and the wife really should have stopped him.

While the mug speaks the truth, yeah, it’s not a present to the one receiving it.

They didn’t “fall” for anything. They knowingly voted for a Nàzi, because they want Názis in power.

Idk if someone gave me a MAGA mug I’d probably smash it for funsies. But not in a restaurant, that’s really childish.

And it’s mature to try to deliberately start a political fight at someone’s birthday?

Did you fall for it again too??

Just be glad he didn’t buy her a King Cobra. Those things smash violently.

We’re also onand

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“AITA For Refusing To Pay For My MIL’s Deductible After She Smashed The Gift I Gave Her?”

“AITA For Refusing To Pay For My MIL’s Deductible After She Smashed The Gift I Gave Her?”

Picking out presents for certain people in our lives sometimes can require more effort

However, this guy picked out a gift he got for MIL quite easily, which completely backfired on him

44% of men and women experience issues with their mother-in-law

“If you know she doesn’t enjoy getting funny gifts, then stick to thoughtful ones instead”

Some readers thought the man was right for not wanting to pay for MIL’s deductible