Millennial Defends Herself Against Backlash Over Child-Free Choice: “Ask Gene Hackman”
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Are womenrequiredto have kids? This New Yorker certainly doesn’t think so.
38-year-old Natalie knew that happiness looked different for everyone and she spent most of her youth trying to chase down what that word meant to her. For a while, she considered whethermotherhoodwas the key to unlocking a fulfilling life.
But after turning 30, she realized shedidn’t want kids. And it’s a choice that has, surprisingly, received a lot of backlash—something she certainly won’t stand for.
What are the pros and cons for couples who choose not to have children?
Couples who don’t have children miss out on experiencing childbirth and parenting. They also lack interactions with future generations and may face loneliness in their old age without family support. However, they also get to take advantage of person freedom and financial independence.
Natalie faced backlash for claiming that she wanted a child-free life
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“It’s all fun until you realize that you have lived an empty life, that you have filled with things. Not being able to have kids is one thing, but shaming people that want is not right as well,” was an example of the hate comments Natalie would receive.
Now she’s opened up with, to address those on social media who have labeled her “selfish” and a “snob” for her decision to live a child-free life.
“I hear the question, ‘Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?’ a lot. I don’t agree with that,” she shared. “You shouldn’t have kids just to ensure someone will take care of you later in life, that’s a huge burden to place on them.
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“It’s important to make decisions based on what’s best for your life, not out of fear of the future.”
But the comments don’t just end there.
Natalie admitted she’s been on the receiving end of insults telling her that her “life has no meaning,” or that “.”
“It’s frustrating because it assumes that fulfillment can only come from parenthood, when in reality, meaning and happiness look different for everyone,” she responded. “My life is full, fulfilling and meaningful in ways that are right for me,” adding that she should bear no obligation to meet “society’s traditional expectations.”
Natalie had always been chasing what it meant to live a fulfilling life
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Thankfully, many of her loved ones are supportive of her decision—including her own mother.
A few netizens also came to her defense.
“People are just mad you were not brainwashed and indoctrinated into thinking about woman’s value is only as a,” one person wrote.
Another applauded, “I have children. However, I’m so proud of this generation of women that have actually THOUGHT about having kids. Not merely having them as a ‘natural’ progress of life or obligation.”
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“I have 2 grown (perfect) children and looking back i feel so selfish for bringing them in to this F’up world. Our food, environment, government etc is scary,” a third noted.
Natalie has made it clear that she is, in no way, shaming those who are mothers or want to be mothers someday — rather, she’s sharing what she believes to beherpath to living a life with meaning.
From “snob” to “selfish,” people on TikTok were ruthless as they labeled the New Yorker
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“The ability to live life entirely on my own terms can challenge the traditional narrative, which might make some people uncomfortable,” she admitted. “It’s your life so don’t let societal pressure push you into something you may regret.
“is a lifelong commitment, and it’s a choice that should be made with intention — not just to conform to the idea that motherhood is the only path to a meaningful life. I believe it’s more selfish to have kids for the wrong reasons than choosing not to have them.”
Nowadays, more and more women are choosing not to have kids, in order to focus on other aspects of their lives such as their career, well-being, or simply because they don’t want them.
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According to the Pew Research Center, fertility rates are declining in many developed countries, including the U.S., which reached a historic low in 2023. 47% of adults under 50 said they were unlikely to ever have children, which was up 37% from data collected in 2018.
Experts say a few of these factors include childhood trauma, financial challenges, political and environmental fears, paltry childcare options and parental leave policies, mental illness, attacks on, and much more, according to the.
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“It’s not a good enough reason anymore to say, ‘I’m going to have kids because that’s what everybody else is doing or that’s what my mom wants me to do,’” said Amanda Chappell, PhD, a faculty member at Bethany College in West Virginia whose dissertation looked at the factors influencing people’s childbearing plans.
“It’s not a good enough reason anymore because there’s so much at stake.”
As some writers have put it, there is a certain empowerment to view parenthood as an option, rather than an obligation.
Some comments, however, thought Natalie’s decision to stray away from kids was admirable
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Michelle Tian
Writer,BoredPanda staff
Michelle Tian
Writer,BoredPanda staff
Hi, there! I’m a newswriter at Bored Panda, born and raised in Vancouver, Canada. I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Boston University, as well as a philosophy minor. A few of my other hobbies include dancing, reading, cooking, or listening to a true crime podcast.
My favourite thing to report on includes groundbreaking news in the field of science — particularly marine biology! I definitely didn’t do well very well studying it in school, but being a journalist lets me live out those dreams in a different and exciting way!
Renan Duarte
Author,BoredPanda staff
Renan Duarte
Author,BoredPanda staff
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Having children is MORE selfish than not having them.
Specially if they use the argument “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older”.
This whole “your selfish” thing really pisses me off. As if parents thing:”you know, let’s have kids for you know the survival of humanity” said no parent-to-be ever!
As parents why and you will always get selfish reasons
Jesus H Christ, children aren’t props for making you feel good about yourself – they’re human beings!
Having children is MORE selfish than not having them.
Specially if they use the argument “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older”.
This whole “your selfish” thing really pisses me off. As if parents thing:”you know, let’s have kids for you know the survival of humanity” said no parent-to-be ever!
As parents why and you will always get selfish reasons
Jesus H Christ, children aren’t props for making you feel good about yourself – they’re human beings!
We’re also onand
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